Nothing Makes You Appreciate Home More than Haunted House Movies
Haunted house movies are probably one of my favorite subsets of the horror genre. Sure everyone watching them says, “just get out of the house!” Yeah, sure just get out of a fixed 30-year mortgage, I’ll just do that. The good news is that after the recent financial crisis in the housing market, there are probably plenty of haunted houses on the market. Well, that might actually be bad news. The real good news is that I’ve put together a list of the best haunted house movies to help you know just what to expect when weird stuff starts going on. As long as you pay careful attention to how the heroes survive these flicks you’ll make it out just in time to beat the crap out of the realtor that “accidentally” forgot to mention the 10 murders and possessions that happened in your dream home. So, ignore the flickering lights and don’t go check that sound coming from the basement because this list needs your full attention!
10. Thir13en Ghosts
I’m kicking off this list with one of my guilty pleasures go. As far as movies go, 13 Ghosts isn’t that great. As far as haunted house movies go, it’s amazing! Honestly, the reason I keep watching this movie over and over again is that it has such incredible lore. The story behind the ghosts and the house they’re trapped in just sucks me in and refuses to let go. Plus, who can turn down a horror movie starring Tony Shalhoub and Matthew Lillard? No one sober on a Saturday night, that’s who! While it might be a two drink minimum kind of movie, it’s one I’m always happy to toast to.
9. The Woman in Black
Daniel Radcliffe went from capturing our hearts with Harry Potter to making us shout “Hell No” with The Woman in Black. As with most haunted house movies, Radcliffe finds himself confronted by a deranged ghost mourning the loss of her own child. Why this mama ghost can’t find her baby ghost is lost on me, but she certainly makes up for it by snatching up the local children trying to replace him. Sure, this is filled with every cliche you can fit in the book, but cliches are cliche for a reason and more often than not they work. Plus it’s great seeing the young Mr. Potter all grown up and getting the piss scared out of him by ghosts.
Most times the dilemmas in haunted houses are solved easily by, oh say, moving. Sinister though manages to pull that option off the table, because the demon in this one tends to like moving across the country to new and interesting places with families, and then killing them all. Plus, it’s a demon that takes kids and makes them even creepier, which is why it helped me make the decision not to have kids. It works out great for me, because now if I move into a haunted house, I can just think of the ghost as an obnoxious roommate. Hey, I had worse in college, but that’s a story for another day.