The Top 10 Best Movie Detectives

5. Jake “J.J” Gittes- Chinatown and The Two Jakes 

Despite its association with notorious pedophile Roman Polanski, I can’t help seeing Chinatown as an absolute masterpiece. So, before I get to Jake Gittes, I just want to officially say that Roman Polanski is an asshole. An incredibly talented asshole, but an asshole nonetheless. Now, as for Jake earning a spot on this list, well, that’s all thanks to Jack Nicholson’s incredible portrayal of the character. Jake is a rare detective that takes on a case of his own accord after he learns that his last client wasn’t who she said she was and used him to get to an innocent man. This minor mystery turns into one hell of a case as Jake discovers just how deep (and how high) it goes. Despite his best efforts, Jake’s scruples force him to see it through to the end, for better or worse.   

4. Phillip Marlow- The Long Goodbye (and others)

A lot of people associate Phillip Marlow with Humphery Bogart. For my money though, Elliott Gould played a much more interesting version in the 1978 adaptation of The Long Goodbye. His Marlow was a lackadaisical flat foot who finds his personal and professional life intertwining in his newest case. Like any good noir, nothing is what it seems at first and soon he has to shift through a pool of lies to get to the truth. Through all the twists and turns, Marlow remains determined to solve the mystery even if he refuses to express any real interest in the outcome. Like any good detective movie, he pays the price of being a hero and ends up worse off in the end for his troubles. I mean, the guy loses his cat and it doesn’t get much worse than that. 

3. Sam Spade- The Maltese Falcon (and others)

The moment that so many of you have been waiting for since the start of this list of movie detectives. Humphrey Bogart is a legend of yesteryear who played tons of private eyes. However, The Maltese Falcon is my absolute favorite of them all. It’s got everything you could want from a classic noir movie from strange characters to fedoras and trench coats. It’s even got that classic Venetian blind shadow that I love. Spade is a man who manages to survive by being more devilishly cunning than his enemies. He allows them to think they’re in control the entire time, while he’s actually manipulating them untill they’re right where he wants them. While he might seem like a weasel, he’s a man with a strict code of honor. One that he follows no matter how much it might hurt him in the end. That’s what makes him one of the best. 

2. Hercule Poirot- Murder on the Orient Express (and Others)

Like so many of the other movie detectives on this list, Hercule Perriot has been played by numerous actors over the years. While the 2017 version of Murder on the Orient Express might not have been the best adaptation of the tale, I feel like Kenneth Branagh definitely played the best version of the legendary detective (at least in a film). Poirot is a man of obsession. So much so that he can’t leave a case alone until he’s solved it. Because of that, he’s forced to analyze every detail of every clue meticulously until he’s figured it out. This compulsion is what makes him such an incredible investigator because even if it cost him his life, he simply can’t stop until the job is done. This, combined with his keen intellect, make Poirot more than a match for any would-be criminal.  

1. Sherlock Holmes- (A lot of Movies)

Let’s face it when asked who the world’s greatest detective is, most people are going to say, Sherlock Holmes. There have been a lot of great Sherlock’s over the years (as well as a few awful ones). While the best of them might have appeared on the small screen, the most memorable is easily Robert Downey Jr’s manic version of the sleuth. He’s an absolute wreck of a human being, who’s one redeeming quality is that he’s just so damn good at solving cases. Of course, he gets plenty of help from his dear friend John Watson, who is more of a babysitter than an assistant. Holmes is renown for solving cases deemed unsolvable. He’s so good, that when you look up “detective” in the dictionary, his face is next to the definition. That’s why he earns the number one spot when it comes to movie detectives.    

Honorable Mention: The Scooby Gang

Fred, Velma, Shaggy, and Daffney got the live-action treatment a few years ago (Unfortunately, poor Scooby got the nightmarish CGI treatment). They’re a fond memory from most of our childhoods and while we might know that they’re not the best detectives in the world, we love them anyway. In all honesty, though, I had to give the gang a shout out, because I’m terrified that Shaggy would come for me if I didn’t include them on this list…   

While I feel like the case of the best movie detectives of all time is solved, that doesn’t mean I might have forgotten a legendary investigator. So, if you think there are better sleuths out there, leave me a clue in the comments below. As always, I’ll be updating this list as new and improved detectives hit the big screen. So, be sure to check back in the future to see how the rankings might change.