Death on the Nile (2022 Review)

Death on the Nile is Murder Express, Except a Little Bit Longer and a Little Bit Worse.

Kenneth Branagh follows up his 2017 adaptation of Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express with Death on the Nile, which is pretty much the same thing except on a boat. In all honesty, I haven’t actually read any of Agatha Christie’s work, but understand them to be clever who-done-it mysteries featuring one of the greatest literary detectives of all time, Hercule Poirot. Hoping to be left guessing who the killer was until the very last moment, it was disappointing to figure out not only the who, but the how, and why, before the murder was even committed. Without a mystery to distract me, it was easy to see that Death on the Nile was an uninspired imitation of Poirot’s previous big-screen adventure. However, the fresh coat of paint is nothing if not dazzling thanks to flawless production design and a stellar cast. 

Just the usual suspects.

Death on the Nile checks off all the same boxes as Murder on the Orient Express. Group of eccentric and untrustworthy characters? Check. Isolated and inescapable setting? Check. More opportunity and motive than you can shake a magnifying glass at? Check. This time around, master detective Hercule Poirot (Branagh) finds himself thrown into a tumultuous love triangle involving happy newlyweds (Armie Hammer and Gal Gadot) and a scorned woman (Emma Mackey) determined to stalk them across their honeymoon. Afraid the worst might happen, Poirot is asked to play guardian angel to the couple as they attempt to escape aboard the S.S. Karnak. They’re joined by a collection of close family and friends but discover their stalker has managed to snag a spot aboard as well. Before the cruise down the Nile is over, there will be more than one body and plenty of suspects. As motives are discovered and lies are revealed, Poirot will have to race against time to discover the true culprit before they strike again.

Despite a meteoric fall from grace recently, Armie Hammer (an actor I was admittedly always a fan of), along with Gal Gadot, brings a sense of classic Hollywood glamor to Death on the Nile. Watching the two of them on screen as the 1930s equivalent of a celebrity “it” couple madly in love with each other was perhaps the most believable aspect of the film. The rest of the cast is certainly capable and includes the likes of Annette Bening, Letitia Wright, and Russell Brand, but the characters they play are glorified one-dimensional murder mystery cliches with only enough backstory to become potential suspects. Most of them don’t even have enough detail to make them memorable aside from their “Dirty Thirties” costuming and aesthetic. That isn’t to say that the cast isn’t capable, but Branagh’s direction feels more suited to the stage than a feature film, forcing unnatural and wooden performances from them.

I’m surprised they didn’t all sweat to death in those outfits.

Just as he did with Murder on the Orient Express, Branagh uses an objective approach with his camera. Unlike the characters stuck aboard the ship, the camera is free to roam where it pleases, and often uses the set as a blunt metaphor in scene composition. In one particular scene, Poirot is relentlessly interrogating Euphemia (a renowned painter and socialite played by Annette Benning), the camera shifts to outside the cabin they are in and clumsily moves back and forth to capture each character through separate window frames as they argue. It’s the sort of shot that sounds interesting on paper, but in practice it causes the cinematography to detract from the characters and story. It’s not simply the mise-en-scene that suffers from the cinematographer’s forceful approach, and it seemed as though the cast were often racing to reach their marks before the camera did. Oddly enough, the footage showcasing the beauty of the Nile and the wonders surrounding the river is absolutely breathtaking.

Death on the Nile dives into the vanity at the core of Hercule Poirot’s character. Of course, there’s that incredible mustache of his, but he’s also a man who loves to make people listen to him as he showcases his sophisticated intellect. That means the rest of the cast spends a great deal of time actively listening and reacting to monologues. It’s a wise choice because half of the investigation is seeing how people react to Poirot’s questions and accusations. However, it inadvertently also leads to certain scenes nearly succumbing to melodrama. I lost track of the gasps before the first act was done, and by the end of Death on the Nile, I was half expecting someone to shout “my heavens, the vapors,” throw their arm across their forehead and faint. The film doesn’t quite go that far, but the overly dramatic reactions of many of the characters made them more obnoxious than interesting. Still, that was probably the point in order to make them all seem like potential murderers, but I doubt Branagh wanted the audience to root for the killer to continue their spree.          

Beautiful night for a murder.

Perhaps the best part of Death on the Nile is that it serves as an origin story for Inspector Poirot’s epic mustache. That’s not something I‘m going to spoil though. Instead, I’ll simply say that Death on the Nile shares a lot of similarities with its characters in how fascinating it seems at a distance. The lavish style reflects a time in which the social elite engaged in a Cold War of excessiveness with one another, while the rest of the world struggles with a recession. Unfortunately, as Death on the Nile unfolds, the extravagance fades to reveal it’s only superficial and that the film is nothing more than a “Murder Mystery Dinner”, minus the meal. If Hercule Poirot is to make another return to theaters, I hope that he brings more with him than Chrisite’s tried and true murder-mystery formula, and Branaughn’s tried and tired direction.