The Top 10 Worst Movie Remakes

5. The Hustle

Based on the classic 80s comedy Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (which was already technically a remake), The Hustle recycles a lot of the same old jokes with a gender-bend flair to them. Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with that since the original was downright hilarious. However, The Hustle feels like it was given a joke book to use, but has no idea how to actually tell a joke. My mind recoiled in horror as two talented actresses (Rebel Wilson and Anne Hathaway) struggle to land joke after joke. Honestly, the real reason this film failed was that it’s just another example of a movie featuring female leads without a woman in sight when it comes to writing or directing. Instead, it’s just a bunch of dude sitting around and making jokes like, “wouldn’t it totally be hilarious if a chick actually enjoyed having sex?”

4. Godzilla

The King of the Monsters managed to get one of the worst remakes of all time. I’m not talking about the 2014 film, which was actually pretty cool in a lot of ways. No, the one making this list is the nightmarish 1998 version starring Matthew Broderick and Jean Reno. As a little kid, I thought this movie was awesome. But I was also an incredibly stupid little kid. Looking back on it, my brain almost starts to hurt. The hero of the film is essentially a glorified Earthworm scientist who teams up with the French military who is trying to “cover up” a 40 story monster running around New York. Even if you forget about it, the climax involves them fighting baby Godzillas who look like velociraptors and slip on gumballs. I might have liked it as a kid, but now I look upon this movie with absolute horror.

3. Death Wish

The most recent of the remakes on this list is one that is a tasteless mess. In a world where half the country claims that packing heat is the only way to prevent future gun violence, putting out a movie about a hoodie wearing vigilante who somehow becomes John Wick after a few rounds of target practice is a little… Insensitive. Of course, the original Death Wish wasn’t much better when it came to its central message, but it was maybe a bit more forgivable in the 70’s. This new one though begs the question: How many people thought this was a good idea? Of course, it doesn’t help that the director is best known for being a member of the “Splat Pack” (a group of horror directors known for their reliance on gore). Not even Bruce Willis could save this one from disaster.

2. Point Break

I wasn’t expecting much from a Point Break remake. After all, it’s a movie about an FBI agent who goes undercover to stop surfing bank robbers. Just let that sink in for a moment. The new one though takes things to a whole new level of stupid as the criminals are not just surfers, but zen extreme athletes. For some reason, the FBI takes it upon themselves to stop these international thieves by sending in Special Agent Johnny Utah, a former extreme sports athlete who throws it all away to become an FBI agent. Johnny ends up drinking the Kool-Aid though, and man crushes hard on the criminals. Of course, the real star of the new Point Break is the stunt team, but not even they could save this movie from being nearly contagious in its stupidity.

1. Psycho

The shot for shot remake of the Alfred Hitchcock classic has been mentioned on nearly every bad movie remakes list you can find on the internet. There’s a good reason for that since the damn thing is nearly impossible to watch. Vince Vaughn stars as Norman Bates in the remake, and while he’s creepy, he’s more off-putting than sinister. Then again, that’s what I say about most Vince Vaughn movies out there. Oddly enough, this movie was made by Gus Van Sant, a director known for his vision. This must have been the absolute low point in his career because it literally has no vision at all. It’s like one of those youtube videos where high school students do a low budget shot for shot remakes of movies. Only this one got a theatrical release…

Honorable Mention: The Pink Panther

While it might not be the worst remake on this list, the new Pink Panther movies (yes, there were two) are probably the most disappointing of them all. Why? Well, because Steve Martin is a comedy genius and if anyone could capture the magic of Peter Sellers’ Chief Inspector Clouseau it would have been him. Then again, Sellers set the bar so high that probably no one will ever be able to reach it, which is why Hollywood should probably just give up on it.

This is just the surface when it comes to terrible movie remakes. Honestly, I’m not opposed to the concept of remakes, but only if something new and exciting can be added to them. Unfortunately, new and exciting hasn’t been in Hollywood’s wheelhouse for a long time now. What are your thoughts though? Do you love or hate remakes? What’s your favorite? What’s the work remake you’ve ever seen? Be sure to comment below!