The Top 10 Best Movie Dentists

5. Dr. Frank Sangster- Novocaine

Some people might think that dentists lead boring lives filled with, well, filling cavities for a living. That might be true in real life, but there are some movie dentists out there that manage to get themselves into pretty sticky situations. Steve Martin makes his first appearance on this list as Dr. Frank Sangster, a painfully boring man when we first meet him. Everything changes though when a femme fatale strolls into his office with a toothache. Soon he’s wrapped up in an adventure filled with twists and turns as he finds himself suspected of distributing drugs illegally. As if the DEA wasn’t enough to worry about, the femme fatales rage-pron brother is after him, and it looks as though someone might actually want Dr. Sangster dead too. It’s a pretty wild ride, but compared to the rest of the movie dentists on this list, Dr. Sangster gets off easy. Still, he pretty much embodies every quality I would look for in an orthodontist. 

4. Dr. Christian Szell- Marathon Man

Is it safe? Up next is a doctor who is probably responsible for so many people dreading a trip to the orthodontist. Why? Probably because the twisted psycho is a Nazi war criminal who likes to use a drill to “extract” information from people. Even when they’re played by actors of Sir Laurence Olivier calibur, I still have a strict anti-Nazi policy. However, Dr. Szell is an iconic film villain I simply couldn’t ignore when it came to pulling together a list of movie dentists. The man is a cold and calculating psychopath determined to get what he wants no matter what gets in his way. Unfortunately, one of Dustin Hoffman’s molars gets in his way, and Dr. Szell is all too happy to perform a little unnecessary dental surgery. For being one of the most spine-chilling movie dentists of all time, Dr. Szell earns a respectable spot on this list.  

3. Dr. Walter “Painless Pole” Waldowski- M*A*S*H

They say war is hell, but at least the soldiers in M*A*S*H didn’t have to charge into battle with a toothache. Before it was one of the most beloved series on television, M*A*S*H was a film featuring not only some of the best movie doctors and nurses, but also one of the best movie dentists as well. Dr. Waldowski is quite the casanova due to some of his “gifts” outside of pulling teeth. As much as we like to pretend doctors are pretty smart, Dr. Waldowski proves that knowledge doesn’t always coincide with intelligence. When he becomes depressed when he can’t “rise to the occasion” for a visiting nurse (it’s later revealed he’d “risen” to it several times previously that day) and announces that intends to commit suicide, the other docs help him by providing a sleeping pill and a nurse who was more than happy to volunteer to help him overcome his “issues.” I don’t want to make any Polish jokes, but if the shoe fits…

2. Doc Holiday- Tombstone

Not only is old Doc Holiday one of the coolest movie dentists of all time, but he might also be the coolest one that ever existed in the real world too. That’s right, that “Doc” stands for doctor of dentistry. Of course, dentistry back in the 1800s probably involved a bottle of whiskey and a good pair of pliers. Alas, Doc Holiday traded his pliers for a six-shooter (kept the bottle of whiskey though) when he decided to become a gunslinger in the old west. There he spent his days helping out his good buddy, Wyatt Earp, round up scoundrels and dispense justice in the name of the law. Some claim he might have been one of the best shootists in those days, and with how much Earp leaned on him when he needed help, I’m inclined to believe exactly that.   

1. Dr. Orin Scrivello- Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

When I sat down to pull together a list of the best movie dentists of all time, one character jumped to mind before any other, the torturous, tune touting, tooth tugger, Dr. Orin Scrivello. Steven Martin makes his second appearance on this list as the demented dentists from the incredible Little Shop of Horrors remake from the 80s. Nothing gives Dr. Scrivello quite as much pleasure as causing other people pain. He leaps on any chance he gets to rev-up his drill and root around inside someone’s mouth. To make matters worse, Dr. Scrivello is pretty stingy when it comes to laughing gas (hoarding it all for himself). Instead of dulling their pain, he tries to get his patients’ screams as high pitched as the whine of the drill. That’s why when he suddenly disappears after a fateful encounter with a killer-plant breeder, no one really goes out of their way to find him. Still, he’s the most memorable movie dentist of all time and well-deserving of the number one spot. 

Honorable Mention: Dr. King Schultz- Django Unchained

If not for the other gunslinger on this list of movie dentists, Dr. King Schultz would have earned an official spot. The idea of a dentist trading in bicuspids for bounties is pretty amusing, and Dr. Schultz seems like a legitimately good guy. However, if it came down to a duel, I don’t think he could have taken old Doc Holiday. Still, Christoph Waltz always gives entertaining and nuanced performances, and Dr. Schultz is no exception. Besides, the guy really hates racists and that’s a dentist I can really get behind. Because of that, I just had to give this guy an honorable mention  

Dishonorable Mention: Dr. Charlie Logan- Good Luck Chuck

There was a time when Dane Cook tried to take his “special” brand of “comedy” to the big screen. One of the horrible movies he inflicted upon audiences was the romcom, Good Luck Chuck, in which he plays a dentist whose exes always find the man of their dreams right after breaking up with him. While the women might have seen Chuck as a good luck charm, anyone watching the film found him to be an insufferable tool, earning Chuck a dishonorable mention. 

There you have it. My list of the best movie dentists of all time. What are your thoughts on the characters though? Did I manage to pick the best ones or did I forget an incredible feature film D.D.S.? Either way, let me know in the comments below. As always, I’ll be updating this list as more movie dentists open up practices on the big screen. So, be sure to check back in the future to see how the rankings might change.