The Top 10 Best Movie Strippers
These Movie Strippers Work Hard for the Money!
This week, I’m taking time to honor all the diligent and tireless sex workers out there with a list of the Top 10 movie strippers. It’s not an easy job, but someone has to get out there and shake what their momma gave them for the sake of horny guys and gals to struggling with the monotony of everyday life. While I’ve only been to a strip club once or twice myself, I’ve seen plenty of them in movies over the years, which made putting together this list pretty easy. The hard part was refraining from crude and inappropriate jokes. The rules for this list are that characters must be from a theatrically released film, and perform a striptease or appear in a strip club and state that they are a stripper. Because of this, I’m also going to include burlesque performers, because they technically do “strip.” Sorry fellas, but I’m not going to require the character to be nude at any point in order to qualify. Get ready, because we have quite a line up hitting the stage with this list of the best movie strippers!
Special Note: You won’t see Showgirls on here because… Well, because it’s just awful. So bad, that even a 14-year-old me in the throws of adolescent hormones, who stumbled upon the infamous film at midnight on HBO could barely get through it, and that’s saying something.
10. Gaz (and the Boys)- The Full Monty
Did you think all the characters on this list of the best movie strippers were going to be a bunch of women? If so, you need to take a moment to reevaluate your personal biases. If not, then you’ll be happy to know that the men of The Full Monty are earning a respectful place among the best and brightest movie strippers out there. Since I can technically only choose one, I’m going to go with the leader of the former steelworkers turned strippers, Gaz (Robert Carlyle). Though I want to give a shout out to all the fella’s in this flick. I know I wouldn’t have the guts to get up on stage and bare it all, so props to them. While they might not be the sexiest movie strippers on this list, that only makes them all the more endearing. Besides, everybody is sexy in somebody’s eyes.
9. Cassidy- The Wrestler
Stripping isn’t all glitter and champaign rooms. It’s a tough life that can really wear you down and take it out of you. Case and point is Cassidy (Marisa Tomei) from The Wrestler. She’s “an older lady” (meaning she’s in her 40s) that still manages to barely keep her head above water in a world where men seem to only want to paw at the younger options up on stage. Still, as I said before, everybody is sexy to somebody. Cassidy ends up catching the eye of Randy “The Ram” Robinson, who takes a few unwanted advances towards her. Like the cliche goes though, this stripper has a heart of gold and tries to help him reconcile with his daughter and begs him to stop wrestling for the sake of his heart. Honestly, the world could use a few more strippers like Cassidy.
8. Alice Ayers- Closer
The second film on this list of movie strippers is an adaptation of a play, Closer stars Natalie Portman as the stripper, Alice. The film is pretty much the ultimate love triangle (or rather love square) as two couples switch partners in it. At the center of it though is the mysterious Alice, an American in London who eventually turns to stripping to mend her broken heart. While a lot of the other strippers on this list tend to be benevolent when it comes to their charms, there’s something a little off about Alice (especially once you see the ending of the movie). Portman even earned an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of the character. While I think that the story felt more suited for the stage than the screen, I have to give credit to the intoxicating performances in the film.
7. Nancy Callahan- Sin City and A Dame to Kill For
The next character on this list of movie strippers is from one of those rare comic book adaptations that doesn’t have people running around in capes. Robert Rodriguez brought Frank Miller’s gritty pulp comic to the big screen, and it’s chalked full of sex workers. For the sake of this list, though, I’m going with Jessica Alba’s Nacy Callahan. Despite living in one of the toughest cities of all time, Nancy is under the watchful protection of some of the most dangerous men around. That’s probably because she’s so damn mesmerizing on stage. Nancy has had a rough life from an early age but seems to have found her calling with her cowgirl themed performance featuring not just a hat and chaps, but also a pair of six-shooters strapped to her hips.
6. Jasmine Dubrow- Independence Day
Turns out one of the best alien invasion movies of all time also features one of the best movie strippers. Vivica A. Fox plays Jasmine Dubrow in the film, a stripper who just happens to be in love with the hero played by Will Smith. When things go south in the film, Jasmine proves to be a survivor, stopping at nothing to protect her son and dog (which makes her okay in my book any day). When Los Angeles is destroyed by the aliens, not only does she manage to make her way through the destruction, but she also takes it upon herself to rescue as many survivors as she can. While the world is in chaos, Jasmine steps up to be a hero and show some of the best traits of humanity. Just goes to show there’s a lot more to strippers than meets the eye.