Death Wish (2018 Review)

I Saw Death Wish and All I Got Was This Stupid Headache.

Thank goodness for the Death Wish remake from Tarantino’s goon Eli Roth. It’s about time we had a movie for white, NRA supporting Republicans. How else would we know that a gun is the only acceptable way to put you machismo on display? Now, to be fair, I have nothing against responsible gun owners. I have a problem with the kind of message this film is sending that seems to think owning a gun makes you John Wick. For people that think the acceptable response to petty theft is standing your ground.

Anyone one home on a Sunday afternoon is familiar with the original Death Wish starring Charles Bronson. If not, it’s a film about a man who avenges his family by, well, getting a gun. This time it’s Bruce Willis that is avenging his family with a gun. Normally, I’m fine with giving most Bruce Willis movies a pass out of respect for one of the greatest action legends of all time. The man did Hudson Hawk for crying out loud and that took balls. This though was bad timing for the aging action star, since no film exists in a vacuum and we’re coming out of yet another mass shooting.

I was ready to give Eli Roth a chance as a director since this is his first action film, and I was a big fan of Clown, which he produced. This though, well, this is one of the first movies that I’ve seen as a critic that left me angry. Technically, it’s a competent movie. However, it basically goes to show everything that is wrong with this country, and that doesn’t mean that it’s commentary that serves to help push any sort of beneficial social message. No, the message behind this movie is basically that only a man that loves his family owns a gun. It seems to think that owning a gun is a cheat code for becoming an automatic badass. Something that was hard for me to swallow since I’ve watched most grown men struggle to pull a cell phone from their pocket when it’s ringing. Something that doesn’t inspire confidence that a man with a gun will be able to pull it in a moment of crisis.

I could lighten up on the pro-gun message a little, but honestly, there’s nothing really memorable or noteworthy about this new Death Wish remake. The villain is as intimidating as John Waters. Bruce Willis seems to go through hardened villains like they were paper targets (astounding, given that this takes place in the murder capital of the U.S., Chicago). In fact, it makes even less sense that Willis’ character would want to be a vigilante, given that he has to patch up gunshot wounds all day as a surgeon. Hell, I don’t get how he has time to be a vigilante, given the hours most surgeons work. Still, Willis manages to roam the streets at night safely hidden beneath a hoodie (something white guys are fine with wearing, I guess) with a stolen gun shooting up anyone he feels deserves it.

I’ve never been one to mix political agendas with films and I want to assure my readers that I’m not an aimless social justice warrior standing with a gaping mouth screeching and pointing at anything that moves, but Death Wish is one of the most tasteless films I’ve sat through in theaters. It is a despicable film that is absolutely unnecessary. Writing this right now, it’s one of the first times I’ve looked back at a movie and felt anger. I cannot fault this movie based on technical merits. I’m sure in a few years, it will be one of those movies that dads watch on Sunday afternoons on basic cable after they’ve finished with yard work. The cinematography was fine. The editing was pretty good. I can’t fault the performances. The timing given the political climate we’re in was absolute garbage, and I don’t think I would feel any better about this movie if it was made a few years ago or maybe even a few years from now.

Death Wish a disgusting pro-gun argument in movie format. Like I said, I’m not against responsible gun owners. That is their right and that is a cornerstone of the Constitution. Death Wish twists that though. It portrays a message that a man who shoots a still target is ready to be a soldier. That a gun can fix most problems. That it’s a “tool” that provides solutions. Well, next time someone uses a gun as a tool to hit nails on the head you had better let the producers of Death Wish know because they definitely managed to miss a lot. That probably explains their penchant for automatic weapons.