Geri-Action: The Future is Female

Those of you who have been following Stars & Popcorn for a while know how I feel about Geri-action movies. The sub-genre has picked up steam with the new Millenium as baby boomers face their own mortality while still trying to prove just how “big and strong” they are, even though they’ve become early bird special regulars. The fact is that watching old men trying to show whippersnappers what for on the big screen is bordering on embarrassing these days. Don’t get me wrong, some guys still got it (Samuel L. Jackson will be a badass long after old age confines him to a wheelchair and an oxygen tank), but it’s a gimmick that’s, well, getting old. At least that was what I thought up until a few weeks ago. It turns out that Geri-action does work, but not with men.

Recently, I saw the sci-fi epic Terminator: Dark Fate in theaters and loved every minute of it. The action scenes were bigger and better than ever before, new characters added a much-needed infusion of fresh blood to the franchise, and it set up an incredible new chapter. However, the most badass part of the entire film was the return of Linda Hamilton as Sarah Conner. Now, it’s been over thirty years since the character was introduced on the big screen, so she’s getting up there in years. That didn’t stop her from being one of the toughest geri-action stars I’ve ever seen. Admiring her no-nonsense attitude and unwavering determination it suddenly hit me that this wasn’t the first tough as nails “old lady” I’ve seen in recent memory. 2018’s Halloween revived legendary final girl Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), who is now a grandmother. This me-maw though wasn’t at home knitting scarfs though. She’s been preparing herself for an inevitable rematch with her psycho-slasher brother, Michael Myers, and I got to say she might be the scary one in the family now. There are plenty of other examples of this recently too. Michelle Phiffer pulled a geri-action in Ant-Man and The Wasp recently. Before her death, Carrie Fisher became General Leia Organa. Hell, even that T-Rex from Jurassic Park proved she was still the Queen Bee in Jurassic World. 

There are still plenty of aging actors trying to prove they still got it by starring in geri-action movies. Sylvester Stallone is becoming infamous for trying to squeeze every last drop out of his franchises, as seen in his recent flop Rambo. Bruce Willis tried to get back in on the action with the terrible 2018 remake of Death Wish too. Then there’s Liam Neeson who is the Godfather of geri-action these days. Every year he’s got some new movie where he’s got to save/avenge someone by beating up younger men just because they don’t need Ovaltine or pills to help with erectile dysfunction. Sure, it was fun at first with Taken, but this is becoming another gimmick being done to death by Hollywood, like found-footage films after The Blair Witch Project. The truth is that old men just aren’t fun to watch. Older women though might just be the future of this sub-genre though.   

Now, I’m sure a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes and saying, “Who cares?” Well, actresses for one thing. Ever since… Forever, Hollywood has only used actresses for their beauty and appeal to male audience members. That means they have a very limited shelf life because producers can’t imagine anyone being attracted to a woman over the age of 40 (tell that to Charlize Theron, Halle Berry, and Selma Hyack). This usually means that they go from being leading ladies to playing their moms in movies. However, the fact that older women are proving you can age with grace and still kick ass on the big screen means that there are now a lot of opportunities for incredibly talented women to take on exciting roles well into their golden years. Why are women so much better at this? Because characters like Sarah Conner and Laurie Strode use wisdom and experience instead of machismo to win fights. They know they’ll never out muscle or outfight bigger, stronger characters, so they simply play smarter and keep their egos out of it. Low blows are their path to victory and, to be honest, that’s exactly how you win life or death fights in the real world. It’s when movies treat their characters like women and not try to write them like men that magic happens. 

Look, I know that there is still a long way for us to go in the fight for equality. However, this new revelation that geri-action is viable with the use of women more than men is a big step forward. One that’s long overdue, but a step forward none the less. It’s showing that there is a shift happening from actresses being used as props to being given characters of value that are just as kick-ass as the boys they share the screen with. Men have been featured so much in geri-action roles that they’ve become a laughable cliche at this point. In order to make these kinds of movies exciting again, you have to give them a new voice. Who better to put young whelps in their place than those who are constantly underestimate and finally fed up with it. I’m not saying that every female geri-action character needs to be driven by a “smash the patriarchy” mentality. They just have to embrace the fact they know what men think of them and simply don’t give a damn about it. 

As someone who has sees new movies on a weekly basis, I can only hope that Hollywood is smart enough to recognize the value of women in geri-action films. Hell, I’m a white male in my thirties, making me their prime demographic and I’m saying I want more of this. I want to see Sigourney Weaver in a new Alien movie. I want to see Pam Grier team up with Samuel L. Jackson for a neo-blacksploitation film. I want to see a Harry Brown remake with Emma Thompson or Helen Mirren showing that women were pretty brutal back in WWII too. I want all these things and I’m willing to pay money to see it in theaters. I know I’m not the only one, so the ball is in Hollywood’s court. Better get busy breathing new life into geri-action movies or get busy dying.