Mortal Engines (Review)
Mortal Engines is as Cumbersome as the Monster Truck-esque Cities it’s Features.
Don’t let the poster fool you, Peter Jackson did not direct Mortal Engines and it becomes apparent about 10 minutes into the film. I was honestly looking forward to this film quite a bit given Jackson’s reputation when it comes to adapting epic novels to the big screen. Instead, the film is headed by Christian Rivers, a long time collaborator of Jackson’s. While Rivers might have the vision to create a truly awe-inspiring and immersive world, he lacks the storytelling ability to make you give a damn about it.
Mortal Engines is an exercise in absurdity and not the fun absurdity we saw in Sorry to Bother You. It’s a film about a dystopian future where man’s use of superweapons has destroyed the planet and, for some bizarre reason, has forced cities to toss on some wheels and hit the high way. I’m not even joking there. This is a movie about giant cities just cruising around the countryside looking for resources. Hell, they aren’t even all big cities. In fact, it seems like everyone has a little city that they get to drive around in. Which begs the question, “what happened to all the cars?”
Of course, that’s not the only question that Mortal Engines brings up over the course of its excruciating two hour run time. While I’m usually the kind of moviegoer that can push aside plot holes if a film is enjoyable, Mortal Engines has so many issues that eventually the plot holes become big enough to drive one of those big ass cities through. They’re not so much plot holes, but plot canyons that result in a total suspension of belief, and given the premise, suspension of belief is a necessity to make this film watchable. These holes range from the primary “why the mobile cities” to issues with the films timeline, character motivations, and even what the hell is even going on at any given moment. Essentially Mortal Engines is like watching someone else’s fever dream only a lot less fun.
If the plot holes in Mortal Engines don’t get you, the cliches and tropes will. Of course, the film features a “strong” female protagonist (played by Hera Hilmar) who is tough and resourceful and has her sights set on revenge against the man who, of course, killed her mother (Hugo Weaving). She’s super tough and oh so independent until she meets an obnoxious, chatterbox (Robert Sheehan) who she promptly falls in love with after being stuck with him for… Like, 48 hours. In all seriousness, this manages to undermine all aspects of her characters. Her heroes journey is basically falling for a guy because he doesn’t tell her she’s disgusting because of a few scars. I have legitimately read more richly developed characters in stories written by small children who can barely write their own names. To make matters worse, Mortal Engines moves at such a breakneck speed that I can’t even tell you the names of most the supporting characters in the film.
Like so many other films adaptations of novels, Mortal Engines tries desperately to fit as much as it can in. The movie is literally stuffed to the brim with characters and settings. So much so, that you never really have a chance to take anything in, which is a shame because the only thing the film really manages to get right is the impressive world that Rivers manages to create. I’ll give credit where it’s due and say that Mortal Engines is a beautiful movie with some impressive visual effects. Then again, that should be expected considering the leaps in visual effects that Jackson (the film’s producer) is known for. However, this leads to one of the biggest problems in Mortal Engines: How could a film with so much going on and such incredible effects be so damn boring?
Mortal Engines is one of the biggest disappointments of the year. It’s little wonder that the studio resorted to ads featuring Peter Jackson “gently encouraging” people to come and watch it in theaters. While there are a few cool aspects to the movie, but they’re so few and far between that you manage to forget about them pretty quickly. Even Weaving, an actor known for playing an evil computer virus and face-less Nazi is at his least intimidating in years as the villain of the film. Long story short, Mortal Engines is most definitely not worth the price of admission. I’m not sure where Peter Jackson was while it was being filmed, but I like to imagine he had the same look of discomfort I had when he saw the final product.
