Space Jam: A New Legacy (Review)
Space Jam: A New Legacy is A Soul Crushing Disappointment
Nostalgia can blind, but I don’t have any rose-tinted misconceptions about Space Jam (even though it is legitimately one of the greatest basketball movies of all time). However, Space Jam: A New Legacy is a giant loogie hawked on the soul of the original. Considering it was first announced in 2014 I was expecting a bit more than a shameless parade of Warner Brothers intellectual property and mind-numbing sports cliches. I call it “shameless” because I actually felt embarrassed for everyone involved with this movie, even Bugs Bunny. The original certainly wasn’t “cinematic high art” but it is genuinely entertaining and still pretty funny. Space Jam: A New Legacy is a soulless imitation of everything that made the first film so enjoyable.
Where the Space Jam had Michael Jordan, Space Jam: A New Legacy has LeBron James. Those quirky aliens who stole talent from NBA superstars are replaced by evil algorithms that kinda look like NBA superstars if you squint. The refreshing recurring cameo by Bill Murray has been replaced by the groans of those suckered into watching Space Jam: A New Legacy. In all seriousness, the two movies are so similar that one has to wonder why anything was changed. The big difference is that this time the tunes aren’t the ones recruiting help, it’s LeBron as he tries to save his son from an evil artificial intelligence, Al G. Rhythm (Don Cheadle). Of course, the only way to do that is to defeat his son’s Goon Squad in a game of basketball.
The film actually starts with traditional cartoon style animation as LeBron is uploaded into the system and whisked off to Tune World to recruit the members of his all-star team. It’s at this point where I suspected that director Malcolm D. Lee did not know what he was doing with the animated scenes (to be fair, he was brought on after filming already began). The introduction to Bugs Bunny (Jeff Bergman) is an erratic mess of frantic cuts and discombobulating framing. It nearly gave me motion sickness and I’ve got a cast-iron gut. However, it was beautiful compared to the mind-recoiling uncanny valley that awaited once the tunes got their CGI make-over. Their fresh looks strip their antics of any zany appeals and remind us all why so many CGI reboots have been scrapped. My mind keeps coming back to “soulless” as the only way to describe Space Jam: A New Legacy, because it perfectly describes the aesthetics and the performances. LeBron is a titan at basketball, but with acting, he’s shooting nothing but air balls. I won’t say Michael Jordan was going to win any awards, but he had this charisma that made you admire him.
Now to get into the biggest problem with Space Jam: A New Legacy, which is that there were six writers attached to the script with four of them demanding “story by” credits. This is probably why A New Legacy felt like a twelve car pile up of test-marketed trash with no survivors. This is most evident with the villains of the Goon Squad, which are gimmicks rather than characters. The original aliens were at least memorable with personalities and a sense of cohesion to their group. A New Legacy has “Wet-Fire,” who is both water and fire for some stupid reason, and required an endorsement from Lil Rel Howery to assure us that his name is “clever.” They’re over-designed messes voiced by athletes known for their physical charisma, not their charming speaking performances.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg, as the writers lean into the most cliched sports mantras to build an image of LeBron James as a “King” who has forgotten how to have fun. He constantly reminds people that basketball is work and that we must forsake all other distractions to appease the sport. This makes me wonder if LeBron is actually miserable on the court. Space Jam: A New Legacy certainly makes it seem like he abandoned all his dreams for a life of superstardom on the court. Then again, every problem in the movie arises from the terrible communication skills between the characters. A five-minute conversation could have fixed everything, but then I wouldn’t have been able to get trashed on the A New Legacy drinking game where you take a shot every time anyone says “fundamentals.” I also would have missed the infuriatingly nonsensical final game, which implemented style points and power-ups, as though Bugs and his comrades needed any incentive to break the rules.
Space Jam: A New Legacy is a struggle to get through, even during its best moments. Sure, I laughed at a few parts, but I had to lower the bar considerably first. If I sound spiteful about it, that’s because I’m a kid at heart who adores how well crafted and brilliant family films can be (just look at Pixar). A New Legacy has all the appeal of an executive confidently turning his chair around to “rap” with kids about some “dope” new cross-platform marketing strategies. Why else would it feature cameos by Baby Jane, Pennywise, and Rick and Morty? Desperate to modernize and appeal to a new generation, Space Jam: A New Legacy forgot the fundamentals of what makes movies enjoyable.
