The Worst Movies of 2019 (So Far…)

I sat down recently to put together a list of the best 5 movies from the first half of 2019 and found myself being reminded that there have been some pretty terrible movies this year as well. Faced with some of my more disappointing reviews I felt it was only right to remind everyone of the 5 worst movies of 2019 as well. It was a painful process, but sometimes you have to face trauma in order to heal from it. For me, it was remembering all those truly terrible movies I’ve seen so far this year. There have been a lot of simply God awful films that have hit theaters, and luckily for you, I’ve been around to offer warnings to help you avoid all the really awful ones. Still, if you haven’t been keeping up with all the reviews here on Stars & Popcorn, you can always check out this list of the worst movies of 2019… So far.

Wonder Park

Why was Wonder Park so awful? Well, for one thing, there technically isn’t a director listed because Dylan Brown was dismissed from the film for “inappropriate and unwanted conduct.” Not sure if that is the real reason why the movie was terrible or not, but it would definitely explain a lot. The film was a typical paint by numbers kids movie (that felt more like it was made for tv). Sure, it had a lot of crazy moments, but it felt so desperate to be quirky and fun that it was just really offputting. As much as I liked seeing a movie that has a young female protagonist with a love for STEM, not even that could off put the neediness of this movie. Don’t worry though, because this isn’t even the worst animated movie of 2019 (at least so far).  

Alita: Battle Angel

I had been looking forward to Alita: Battle Angel for years. Mostly because James Cameron has been working on it ever since he finished… Avatar. He passed directorial duty over to Robert Rodriguez who worked his green screen magic to being us a character with terrifyingly huge eyes. My problem with Alita was that it was trying so hard to create a “strong female character” but went about it all the wrong ways. Shortly into my film, I found the character to be a self-centered bully who demanded respect and admiration without feeling as though she had to prove she deserved any of it. As much as I was hoping for a good anime adaptation finally, but was once again left disappointed. 

The Hustle

My hopes were initially high when I heard they were doing a gender bent remake of one of the best con artist movies of all time features two incredibly talented actresses. My optimism for the film was dashed when I discovered it was pretty much just a direct rip off with only a few minor alterations. Now, a rip off of a great comedy might not sound like a bad thing, but The Hustle is like when someone reads from a joke book but has no idea how to actually tell a joke. Because of that, I consider The Hustle to actually be one of the remakes I’ve ever seen. It was just so incredibly awkward watching the talents of Rebel Wilson and Anne Hathaway being wasted on screen. I’m sure it couldn’t have been easy making them look that bad on camera.  

Uglydolls

Not many singers can transition to the silver screen well. There have been a few over the years like Lady Gaga, Mandy Moore, and Cher. However, singers turned good actors are few and far between. That’s part of the reason why the hideous movie Uglydolls was just so terrible. On top of that, the film is based off a line of toys that don’t really have any sort of rhyme or reason to them (not that toys movies like G.I. Joe or Transformers are any better). It spouts recycled cycled cliches about being yourself and accepting the beauty in your “flaws.” However, the worst thing about this movie is that it has a cast full of singers, but can’t manage to pull off one good song. Sure, it tries to create earworm after earworm but not a single song proves to be memorable.

Serenity

The biggest cinematic trash fire of the year is by far and away Serenity. It’s mind-boggling just how bad this movie was considering it stars Matthew McConaughey, Jason Clarke, and Anne Hathway (who hasn’t been having a great year at the movies this year). Normally, I’m not much for spoilers, but I feel like this movie kinda deserves it. The film is about a boat captain on a small island who’s ex-wife comes to him to get help murdering her abusive new husband. Sounds like a pretty good thriller, right? Well, it turns out the the whole thing is a video game designed by a kid to escape his constantly fighting parents. This twist comes out of nowhere and is done so awkwardly that even M. Night Shyamalan would blush. That’s why this is hands down the worst movie of 2019… At least so far.

Of course, these are only my top or rather, bottom picks for the worst movies of 2019. There have been a lot of other bad movies, so let me know what you think of my choices in the comments. Also, if there’s a worse movie I forgot to include on here, let me know. As always, I’ll do a top 10 at the end of the year, so be sure to check back to see which movies are on that list.