UglyDolls (Review)

UglyDolls is an Ugly Movie.

I’ve seen plenty of movies over the years filled with all sorts of creepy and ugly dolls over the years, but UglyDolls is probably one of the worst I’ve ever seen. The film boasts a cast filled with singers, including Kelly Clarkson, Blake Sheldon, and… Pitbull (a performer known for doing anything for the right price). It fails to realize though that singers are singers and not actors for a reason. I’m not saying that singers aren’t incredibly talented and some even do make it in the movies. Because of this, it’s easy to see early on that UglyDolls true purpose is to create the next “earworm” and to hopefully sell a lot more of dolls it’s based on. In doing so, it forgets that it has to actually be good first.

UglyDolls is about a village of, you guessed it, ugly dolls. The most notable of which is unnervingly chipper Moxy (Clarkson), who dreams of finding her person to be loved by. Throughout the film, she’s like a dog with a bone that refuses to leave the notion alone, despite the fact that many of the dolls in her village are living sickening happy lives to the point where they start each day with a song. So, she sets off to discover the real world outside of Uglyville and instead finds herself in a living hell called Perfection, where all the pretty dolls go to be trained before being given to children.  

The film is pop psychology at its worst. It wants to focus on the fact that imperfections make you beautiful, which is all good in theory but UglyDolls goes about it in such a shallow and pedantic way that it feels almost like a cruel joke. The film is almost formulaic in its approach to its beauty in the eye of the beholder moral. Moxy is hardly a hideous abomination unto doll God. In fact, she’ pretty damn adorable until she opens her mouth. The same can be said for all the other dolls in Uglyville. None of them are “ugly” by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, the film goes so far as to say that a girl with glasses could be considered ugly because of them. There’s no real substance to any of the elements that are supposed to be supporting this theme, and UglyDolls feels like it’s trying too hard in all the wrong ways.

UglyDolls tries to do what The Lego Movie did so well by creating the next movie earworm with its headline song that spouts unending optimism. However, it fails miserably because it’s clear that’s exactly what it’s trying to do. It’s sorta like a kid doing their best to act cool, it comes across as desperate for acceptance, which is a shame because the cast is filled with popular singers. This desperation bleeds over into the rest of the movie though and turns it into an offputting trash fire. Instead of learning to love the dolls for who they are, the film instead sticks to the theme, beating it to death slowly over the course of the movie. Exposition is UglyDolls best friend since it doesn’t want to take the time to show us why we should love this ragtag bunch of misfits. Instead, it resorts to telling us (literally) why each of the characters is special in their own way. Then again, what do you expect from a movie that is based on a line of plush toys?

I honestly couldn’t find any redeeming qualities to UglyDolls. The animation is lazy to the point where you see multiple background character repeating the same moments throughout the film. The characters are based solely on their designs rather than on any semblance of personality. Even the songs wear thin early on. Hell, even the comedians in the cast fail to land jokes. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it’s one of the worst animated movies I’ve seen in years. It’s almost as though a computer was forced to watch a bunch of animated films and then asked to make one. It tries to have its heart in the right place but is a soulless mess of a movie. It’s so bad, that I could feel myself actively frowning throughout it.  

Honestly, if you have your heart set on seeing a movie about talking dolls, I’d suggest skipping this and waiting for Toy Story 4 to hit theaters. UglyDolls feels like a knock-off of so many other great animated movies that give kids reasons to love themselves and not to be judgemental. The only audience that might find joy in this film is those who are entertained by bright colors and manic animation. In which case, simply shaking a set of car keys for them or playing peek-a-boo would probably prove just as effective. Do yourself a favor and avoid this film at all costs.