Where Are All the Hanukkah Movies?!
Trying to Put Together a List of Hanukkah Movies is Harder Than You’d Think…
Being as Stars & Popcorn is one of those equal opportunity, semi-woke, pro-diversity sites and all, and it is the Holiday season, it seemed only appropriate to take a moment to throw together a list of some of the best Hanukkah movies out there. Well, it turns out that list would have been one of the shortest in the site’s history since even Wikipedia seems to only have four flicks listed under Hanukkah movies. Needless to say, this drove me absolutely nuts because this couldn’t be right… Could it? Hours later and it looks like there really aren’t a lot of movies out there that feature Hanukkah at the center of their plots.
Of course, there is the “classic” Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights, but no one is going to argue that’s a good, well, anything. In it, Adam plays Davey, a curmudgeonous, self-centered bastard who seems to love making everyone around him miserable. Like every other holiday movie though, Davey soon learns the true meaning of the holiday and changes his ways. Personally, I think that Eight Crazy Nights is an absolutely terrible movie that blurs together with so many other terrible Adam Sandler movies where he delivers cumbersomely crude jokes in a shrill voice all for the sake of a few chuckles from dead-eyed dimwits. It’s far from even being a semi-decent movie, but by default, it’s one of the best Hanukkah movies ever made thanks to how slim the pickings are. The other movies I managed to track down are unfortunately just as “good.”
Other Hanukkah movies you can enjoy during the festival of lights include the likes of The Hebrew Hammer and Full Court Miricle. The first film revolves around what can only be described as a Jew-sploitation private detective who does battle with the evil son of Santa. The other is about a Jewish basketball team that… Well, they suck until a full court miracle helps them to be not as sucky. Needless to say, neither of these seem like the kind of movie that the family can sit down and actually enjoy together. In fact, I’m betting that most of these films would make for some pretty awkward family gatherings.
The choices for Hanukkah movies are so few and far between that a number of lists out there started desperately listing movies like Inglorious Basterds and Little Fockers as choices. Sure there are a few tv specials you can nitpick through such as the Rugrats Chanukah Special. However, after a few moments poking through those options, it starts to feel like you’re rummaging through the discount DVD bin at best and the trash at worst. After a while of this, I actually started to feel a little offended on behalf of the Jewish people.
So, what’s with the lack of Hanukkah movies out there? There are plenty of great Jewish movies that feature minor references to Hanukkah in them. Just check out the classic (I’m not being sarcastic with the usage of the word this time) movie An American Tale. At the beginning of the film, Fievel Mousekewitz gets his trademark blue cap as a Hanukkah gift. However, the tradition isn’t really mentioned for more than a moment or two. Many other Jewish centric movies out there do the same and will only show glimpses of a menorah being lit or a soft prayer being said over a family dinner. It’s almost as though Hollywood is doing it’s best to downplay Judaism in Jewish movies, which doesn’t make a lick of sense to me.
The only answer that I can come up with is that there might not seem to be much money in Hanukkah movies. As of right now, there’s no real answer when it comes to how many Jews are living in the country because no one can really settle on what the definition of Jewish should be when it comes to a census. Even with a generous estimate, there are only about 7 million living in the country and if every Jew went to theaters to see Hanukkah movies, that’s still not enough to qualify as a “Blockbuster.” Still, 2018 has proven that there are eager minority audiences that want to see movies featuring leads and themes relevant to their cultural identities. Hell, it would seem that even those in the majority of the population are interested in seeing a bit more diversity in theaters. So, are there no Hanukkah movies because no one would see them or because Hollywood is too stupid to realize that people want to see them?
Unfortunately, I can’t put together a list of Hanukkah movies for my Jewish readers to enjoy this holiday, because there really aren’t any out there. At least not enough to put together a proper list that would be a bit more fussy about the quality of films that would qualify for the list. Of course, there are plenty of movies out there that are incredible tales of the Jewish people, their triumphs and their hardships (just check out Schindler’s List). The only good news in all this is that the Hallmark channel is getting into the spirit of things and is releasing a number of Hanukah movies in 2018. Now I’m never going to say that Hallmark makes truly great movies, but at least they’re trying. Who knows, if things go well then Hollywood might get its act together and in a few years, I can do a top 5 list (10 if we’re really lucky).
Until then, I’m hoping that some of you might have a few suggestions for some good Hanukkah movies that we can enjoy before the end of the eight nights. So, if you know of any, make sure you leave a comment below!