The Top 10 Best Movie Accountants
Movie Accountants are the Mathematical Heroes of the Silver Screen.
Movie accountants certainly don’t seem like the most exciting characters to have earned a top 10 list on Stars & Popcorn. Trapped in their offices, adding and subtracting all day as fluorescent lights flicker overhead, you might think a list of these guys sounds just as boring as their day job. That’s where you’d be wrong! Hollywood has a flair for making the mundane interesting, and it’s definitely worked its magic on plenty of movie accountants over the years. I’ve gone ahead and pulled together a list of the 10 best and brightest that ever lit up the silver screen. You’ll cheer as these characters review submitted expense sheets, thrill as they dive into the mystery of the Q1 profit discrepancies, and swoon as they electronically submit 940 small business forms to the IRS! Accounting is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. Luckily for all those big-shot film characters and companies out there, they’ve got these movie accountants to make sure everything adds up. So, check the batteries on your calculator and make sure your pencils are sharpened because these movie accountants are ready to get to work!
10. Jonathan “The Duke” Mardukas- Midnight Run
Kicking off this list of movie accountants is Charles Grodin’s character, Jonathan Mardukas from Midnight Run. Now, Grodin has a “type” that he always plays in movies, and that’s usually an insufferable jerk who no one really likes. Well, The Duke definitely falls into that category, but I have to admit that guy has some balls on him since he embezzled $15 million from notorious Chicago crime lord, Jimmy Serrano. Just when The Duke thinks he’s gotten away with it, a bounty hunter (Robert De Niro) is sent after him to make sure he doesn’t skip out on the half-million-dollar bail that was posted for him. Of course, the bounty hunter isn’t the only one after him, and the two eventually have to team up to avoid gangsters, the FBI, and other bounty hunters who want to collect the price on Mardukas’ head. Mardukes certainly gets up to more excitement than the average accountant… At least I hope that’s the case.
9. Henry Sherman- The Royal Tenenbaums
Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) is a terrible dad and all-around bastard. So, it’s no wonder that his ex-wife, Etheline (Angelica Huston), ended up falling for the kind-hearted Henry Sherman (Danny Glover). Now, movie accountants are meticulous when it comes to details, and when Royal returns in an attempt to win back his family, Henry realizes something just doesn’t add up with the patriarch’s story about having stomach cancer. He tackles the mystery like it’s a 1040-ES form and eventually discovers the truth. Not wanting Royal to get away with manipulating his family once again, Sherman reveals him as the fraud he is and wins the love of Etheline. Not all the movie accountants on this list have crazy adventures, but Henry deserves a spot because he looks out for the people he loves not only from Royal but also the IRS.
8. Leo Bloom- The Producers (1967)
Not all movie accountants are on the up and up. While Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder) starts off as an honest accountant in The Producers, he’s quickly corrupted by struggling theater producer Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel). The two hatch a plan to get rich quick by putting together the worst possible play they can. The genius is that once the play fails, they won’t have to pay back any of the investors and can simply keep the money. The fledgling con artists quickly swindle a number of investors, selling off 25,000% of the play. Once they have the cash, they set out to make Spring Time for Hitler with an absolutely atrocious cast. Unfortunately for Bialystock and Bloom, they’ve never heard the expression “so bad it’s good” and their play is seen as a brilliant satire instead of a steaming pile of, well, you know. With the jig up, both men end up looking at some pretty serious prison time for fraud, but that’s show business, baby.
7. Loretta Castorini- Moonstruck
Once upon a time, Nicolas Cage used to make good movies and one of his best was Moonstruck. Cage isn’t the one earning a spot on this list of movie accountants though. That honor goes to his co-star, Cher, who plays Loretta Castorini. Loretta is a bookkeeper by trade engaged to an Italian New Yorker who leaves suddenly to visit his mama in Sicily. While he’s gone, Loretta starts to develop a relationship with his estranged brother (played by Cage). It’s a whirlwind romance unbalanced by the fact that they can’t truly succumb to their feelings for one another without bringing shame to their families. Loretta earns a spot on this list for her larger than life attitude, big heart, and refusal to take any B.S. She also proves that movie accountants aren’t just a bunch of boring guys in ugly suits and thick glasses playing with spreadsheets all day long.
6. Harold Crick- Stranger Than Fiction
Despite the title, Stranger Than Fiction isn’t based on a true story. That doesn’t make its lead character, Harold Crick (Will Ferrell), any less deserving of being on this list though. Harold is a tax man for the IRS who starts hearing a voice narrating his life in his head. Confused by this, he seeks out a psychiatrist and then a literary expert (it is a narrator he’s hearing after all) to figure out what’s going on. Neither are able to help much, and Harold does his best to ignore the voice while continuing his duties for the IRS. It’s then that he encounters anti-establishment baker Ana (Maggie Gyllenhaal) who he’s supposed to audit. The two butt heads, but Harold proves to be the nicest guy in all the IRS as he tries to help Ana through the process and get her life a bit more organized. Along the way, Harold learns that life isn’t all about numbers and decides to start living his before it’s too late. I won’t spoil the end for you, but take it from me, Stranger than Fiction is a charming little film definitely worth watching.