The Top 10 Best Movie Witches
Bubble! Bubble! Toil and Trouble! Read this List of Movie Witches on the Double!
So, earlier this week Stars & Popcorn published a list of the Top 10 Movie Wizards and that just didn’t feel right considering there are so many amazing movie witches (and also that I’m terrified of getting cured… again). That’s why it only seemed appropriate as a good feminist to tackle the magical women of the silver screen for the sake of representation. Plus the whole time I was writing the wizard list, movie witches kept popping into my head. Rather than wait for Hollywood to come out with a new witch movie I decided to take the bull by the horns and honor those lady spell slingers. The only rules for this list are 1) they have to be a live-action witches 2) they have to have appeared in a theatrically released film 3) they have to actually use magic or perform some sort of miracle 4) they have to be a woman (self-identifying totally counts). That being said, there’s a slight difference from the wizard’s list since women are damn good team players I’ll include covens as well as individual witches on here. So, let’s get ready for yet another magical top 10 lists as we take a look at the best movie witches from the silver screen!
10. Sally Owens- Practical Magic
Sure, I could have included Nicole Kidman’s character with Sandra Bullock’s, but she was pretty much a total screw up from the start. Her sister though, Sally, was actually a pretty powerful spell caster. The thing is that despite all her skills and power, Sally just wants a quiet normal life for her and her daughters. The thing is that quiet and normal doesn’t make for a particularly exciting movie, which sucks for her. The reason she earns a place on this list of movie witches is that she’s so far from the typical cliche and proves that not all pagan practitioners are out there are trying to build houses out of candy in order to devour children. The fact is that Sally has a day job helping the small town out with natural remedies and that’s probably a little more accurate than most of what we get on the silver screen, but I’m hardly a Witchologist.
9. Nancy Downs- The Craft
Nothing reminds me of my emo high school dates quite like The Craft. While there was quite a coven of teenage goth witches in the film none of them shone quite as brightly as the vindictive and diabolical Nancy Downs. Maybe it’s the fact that Neve Campbell went through a bland phase or that Fairuza Balk has some of the most intense crazy eyes I’ve ever seen, but in this case, the villain was way cooler than the hero. While the other members of her coven were trying to get guys to notice them or change their hair color with magic (seriously, watch the movie), Nancy was taking vengeance on all those who wronged her and I can’t blame her for that (high school is rough). I have to credit The Craft for helping me to understand goth girls in high school and know not to mess with them, you know, just in case.
8. Eva- Witching and Bitching
I’ll be honest, I absolutely love Witching and Bitching, which is probably why I leaped at the chance to include it on any top 10 lists. Luckily, I have just enough of a crush on Eva’s character from this movie to make a sound argument for her inclusion. As the youngest member of a coven of witches, Eva has some pretty incredible raw power. She also has some pretty incredible crazy going on for a lot of the movie. However, she turns out to be a good witch… With more than a few issues, but nobody’s perfect. Besides just being a solid combination of crazy hot and… Crazy, Eva has enough power in her to do things like fly, toss men around like so much garbage, and tons of other scary magic stuff. Eva definitely proves not all movie witches are green with warts… They do have a thing for toads though.
7. Alexandra Medford, Jane Spofford, and Sukie Ridgemont- The Witches of Eastwick
The first full coven to make this list of the best movie witches features some of the biggest names in show business, Susan Sarandon, Cher, and Michelle Pfeiffer. Together they try to create the perfect man, but the jokes on them because he doesn’t exist and they got stuck with Jack Nicholson instead. Despite their spell going wrong these women aren’t going to let some guy push them around, even if he is the devil. It’s really the perfect metaphor for female empowerment and that’s pretty appropriate for a film about witches. Metaphor aside, the fact that this coven manages to stand up to the actual devil and throw a smackdown on him earns them a spot on this list.
6. Minnie Castevet- Rosemary’s Baby
Sometimes the most terrifying movie witches don’t stand around cursing men, casting spells, or ride around on brooms. Nope, the ones to watch out for are the ones quietly pulling strings behind the scenes. Rosemary’s Baby was a film that made my skin crawl the first time I saw it because it’s pretty much a 2 hour gaslight for the main character. The leader of this psychological and supernatural manipulation is Minnie Castevet. I don’t want to reveal too much about the dastardly plans of Mrs. Castevet, because that would be a disservice to the total mind @#$* that is Rosemary’s Baby. If you haven’t seen it and want to see what the face of true evil then you’ll definitely want to check out this film classic.