The Top 10 Best Bond Villains
Bond Villains are a Dime a Dozen, But these Are the Best of the Best!
A hero is only as good as their villain, and Bond villains are some of the best around. Sure, they come up with needlessly elaborate plans that would probably fail even without interference from one of the best big-screen spies of all time, but you have to admire their ambition. There’s something inspiring about coming up with a batshit insane plan and pushing through no matter how many holes in it. That’s why this week I’m counting down the 10 best Bond villains. It’s one of the biggest film franchises of all time (for now), and there are plenty to choose from (over 25). Now, I’m not going to say that any of them had “great” plans to take over the world, but I’m hardly ranking these villains by their cunning. Instead, I’ve ranked them on how cool, memorable, and evil they are. So, dust off your license to kill, because you’re going to need it with this list.
*Note: This is for primary Bond villains. If you’re looking for the best Bond Henchmen, that’s another list entirely. Henchmen Union rules require them to be listed separately.*
10. Dr. No- Dr. No
Technically, Dr. No was the first villain that Bond faced off with on the big screen (there was a non-Eon production of Casino Royale in 1967). A nuclear scientist working for SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, Extortion), Dr. No planned to use radio waves to disrupt nuclear missile tests. It would have been easier to take the evil doctor seriously if it wasn’t for the fact that his past experiments ended up costing him his hands. His disdain for safety precautions left him with two metal robo-hands that were as strong as they were clumsy. Like all Bond villains, Julias No is a power-mad weirdo with a plan that doesn’t really make a lot of sense. He does have a pretty suave sense of fashion though and remains one of the most iconic Bond villains of all time.
9. Rosa Klebb- From Russia With Love
Turns out that Bond villains aren’t especially happy when 007 kills their co-workers, especially since he’s always got some quip ready to make light of their demise. Of course, you don’t get to be the third highest-ranking member of SPECTRE by having silly little things like emotions. But who says you can’t mix business with pleasure? Ordered to retrieve a Russian decoding machine from Bond, she also plans to implicate him in a sex scandal before killing him. Jokes on her though, because sex scandals only make 007 stronger. Still, I have to give Klebb some credit; she’s one of the only women in the world to come face to face with James Bond and not sleep with him.
8. Max Zorin- A View to a Kill
One of the most incredible Bond villains of all time was played by Christopher Walken. Just to be clear, Max Zorin was only incredible because he was played by Walken (A View to a Kill was actually one of the worst Bond movies overall). His goal is basically to wipe out silicon valley so he could corner the microchip and become super-rich. As far as Bond baddie plans go, it seems a bit too realistic. I mean, who wouldn’t believe that blonde-haired, blue-eye, rich as hell, white guy wouldn’t try to blow up their corporate competition? As if that wasn’t bad enough, Zorin is a Nazi experiment where pregnant women were injected with insane amounts of steroids to make super-babies. As ridiculous as that might sound, Max makes this list of Bond villains thanks to his incredible death that happened after a fight with Bond on a blimp spills over onto the Golden Gate Bridge.
7. Dr. Kananga- Live and Let Die
Bond villains aren’t all megalomaniacal white guys. Dr. Kananga, aka Mr. Big (a disgustingly unoriginal alias), is a restauranteur during the day and a crime kingpin by night. His plan? Flood the streets with free heroin to put his competition out of business. Now, I have a few questions about the economic viability of his plan, but who am I to say no to free drugs? More importantly, Kananga actually has enough sense to hire immortal muscle in the form of iconic henchman and guy who knows voodoo, Baron Samedi. The only thing I’m really confused about is what Dr. Kananga was a doctor of. Then again, I suppose dictators of a fictitious Caribbean island get honorary doctorates all the time. Just one of the perks of fascism.
6. Francisco Scaramanga- The Man with the Golden Gun
It was only a matter of time before people got fed up with James Bond and decided to hire the world’s greatest assassin (well, not that great of an assassin) to kill him. Christopher Lee plays the contract killer with a penchant for expensive handguns. His nefarious plan? He wants to kill 007. That’s pretty much it. Now, I know that’s not very exciting, but Scaramanga is the ultimate contract killer. No photos exist of him, and he’s got a gun that can kill any man with just one bullet. The only thing anyone knows about him is that… He has a third nipple? I guess that might be good to know if you run into him at a pool party or something. Unfortunately for Scaramanga, not even three nipples are enough to stop James Bond.