The Top 10 Best Christmas Horror Movies
These Christmas Horror Movies Deck the Halls with Blood and Carnage.
Let’s face it, some of us are Grinches that don’t like traditional Christmas movies. That’s okay because there are plenty of Christmas horror movies out there to help you get into a different kind of holiday mood. Now, let me start by saying that there are a lot of Christmas horror movies. The thing is that a lot of them are God awful (see Jack Frost and Black X-Mas). That didn’t stop me from digging through them all to put together a list of the best Christmas horror movies for all you Scrooges. You might have noticed a few of these films appeared on my list of 7 Alternative Christmas Movies, but that’s just because they’re so damn good. So, curl up with a cup of cocoa and throw another yule log on the fire, because this list is a perfect blend of naughty and nice. Trust me, you won’t look at Santa Claus the same after you get through these blood-splattered “holiday classics.”
10. Santa’s Slay
Kicking off this list of Christmas horror movies is a film that I will freely admit is terrible. However, it’s one of those rare films that’s so bad it’s incredible. WWE Wrestler Bill Goldberg is Santa. Yes, you read that right, Santa’s Slay features a Kriss Kringle that is 6’4 and 266 lbs of pure muscle-bound rage. The film twists the tale of Old Saint Nick and presents him as the son of Satan that used to slaughter people every year on the “Day of Slaying.” In 1005 A.D. he lost a bet to an angel resulting in him being forced to be nice and bring children presents every year instead. Well, that 1000 year bet is over now and Santa is ready to get back to some good old Christmas themed violence. It’s an insane movie that you just have to go limp for, and let it wash over you.
9. Christmas Evil
This is easily the most unhinged film on this list of Christmas horror movies. It’s so weird that it’s developed a cult following with notable fan John Waters admitting to viewing it multiple times. The premise is simple enough – a kid sees “mommy kissing Santa Claus” and is traumatized. So much so, that he’s determined to become the next Santa. Years go by and he’s got a job working in, you guessed it, a toy factory. Through a series of events, his psyche ends up fracturing and he sets out to deliver gifts to all the good little boys and girls. In his creeper van with reindeer painted on the side, he cruises around trying to be the best Santa he can. However, things fall apart as he’s soon driven into a murderous rage at the lack of true Christmas spirit around him. Crazy as that sounds, the ending is simply mind-boggling.
8. Silent Night (2012)
Now a lot of aficionados out there might consider Silent Night, Deadly Night one of the better Christmas horror movies. Sorry friends, but I’m going to include the 2012 remake of that precious piece of cinema instead. Like so many horror remakes, it stars Malcolm McDowell as a sheriff in a small town who, along with his deputy (Jamie King) has his hands full with a masked madman dressed in a Santa suit (complete with a creepy mask). As you probably guessed, this Santa isn’t handing out gifts. Instead; he’s working his way down his “naughty list” and getting creative with his punishments. It’s one of those films that’s made with horror fans in mind, so if you’re not a fan of blood, gore, and groan-worthy jokes, this might not be the film for you. Everyone else though will probably get a kick out of this one.
7. The Children
As someone who thinks most kids in movies are just plain creepy, The Children really got to me. A lot of the Christmas horror movies on this list feature evil versions of Santa Claus causing mayhem, but not this one. Instead, it features a quaint British family gathering together to celebrate Christmas. It doesn’t take long for the adults to get on each other’s nerves, and that distracts them from the fact that there is something very wrong with the children. Slowly they transform from shrieking, snot-nosed brats into murderous shrieking snot-nosed brats. The parents are, of course, hesitant to believe their little angels are capable of this and they’re picked off one by one because of it. Personally, I’ve seen enough horror movies to know not to hesitate punching kids when they start acting creepy. Then again, that’s also how I got banned from the mini-golf course.
6. Anna and the Apocalypse
I’ve seen a lot of zombie movies over the years and am a pretty big fan of them overall. However, Anna and the Apocalypse is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. That’s because not only is it a zombie movie that takes place at Christmas, but it’s also a musical. That’s right, there’s lots of singing and even a dance number or two as the teenage heroes try to outwit and outrun the walking dead. The film takes place in England (which explains why no one is simply blowing the zombies’ heads off) as a group of graduating high schoolers struggle to figure out what to do with their lives after graduation. A lot of feelings come up, but then zombies come along and ruin the potential heartfelt moments. Still, there are some genuine scenes that will tug at your heartstrings.