The Dream Team of Alien Killers from Movies
These Alien Killers Make for the Ultimate Dream Team.
One day little green men will ascend from the heavens with ill intentions and we’re going to need the best alien killers money can buy to save the human race. To prepare for this inevitability I’ve decided to pull together a team of the best alien killers in cinema history. These seven fictional characters have a pretty solid win-loss record when it comes to taking on evil extraterrestrials and I’m willing to bet that there’s a lot we can learn from their tactics. The only rule to be a member of for this team is no superheroes, because The Avengers and Justice League have proven time and time again that they can kick serious alien ass (and it’s usually pretty one-sided) and no one from the Star Wars or Star Trek franchises since aliens tend to be their coworkers anyways. Even without them on there, this list of alien killers is made up of the best of the best.
R.J. MacReady- The Thing
When you think of alien killers in movies, you probably picture a muscle-bound super commando who likes to shoot first and mumble one-liners later. Well, you’ll either be painfully disappointed or painfully surprised by the first of the alien killers to appear on this list. MacReady is nothing more than a pilot who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time when a shapeshifting alien attacks. He might not be the most elegant or efficient of the alien killers on this list, but he kept his cool when facing one of the most terrifying aliens in movie history which earns him a lot of street cred around these parts. Despite that street cred though, MacReady is at the top of this list because it’s unclear if he lives to tell the tale or not.
Alan “Dutch” Schaefer- Predator
One of the heavy hitters on this list is a character that looked one of the most intimidating aliens in all of moviedom square in the eye and said, “You came to the wrong neighborhood, mother@#$%er.” Arnold Schwarzenegger is a pretty big guy by all intents and purposes, but even he found himself punching above his weight class when he squared off against the Predator. Luckily, Arnold’s Dutch Schaefer isn’t exactly a pencil pushing accountant, he’s an elite commando who’s had plenty of experience going toe to toe with the most dangerous game on the planet. Even though his enemy is physically and technologically superior, Dutch proves exactly why man is at the top of the food chain and takes the Predator down with nothing more than sticks and stones.
Nada- They Live
Sometimes all you want to do is kick ass and chew bubblegum. At least, that’s all that Nada wants to do before he discovers that the world has secretly been taken over by aliens. So far the alien killers on this list have only gone mano a mano with a single alien, which is impressive enough in its own right. However, Nada takes the fight to the evil invaders and simply pulverizes them as he cuts a path of destruction. Of course, it hardly seems fair to expect what are essentially the members of an extraterrestrial marketing firm to stand a chance against a former WWE wrestler. Still, Nada manages to earn a spot on this list because he’s not going to let a bunch of intergalactic pencil pushers exploit the masses through capitalism. That’s America’s job!
Johnny Rico-Starship Troopers
Sometimes it’s the humans who are the invaders, but that doesn’t make them any less efficient alien killers. Casper Van Dien stars in the cult classic Starship Troopers as a Johnny Rico, a soldier that rises from grunt to full-on badass as he leads the charge against a planet of creepy bug-like aliens. While Johnny’s first encounter with the Arachnids doesn’t go so hot, he comes back with a vengeance and helps deal an incredible blow to the species when he helps to capture a “brain bug.” Rico is a roughneck who feels most at homes on the front line and inspires his fellow soldiers to fight the good fight against extraterrestrial insects. Of course, the film is a satire on war in general, but that doesn’t stop Rico from having a pretty impressive alien kill count.
Rita Vrataski-Edge of Tomorrow
Yeah, I know that Tom Cruise is the star of The Edge of Tomorrow and he does a pretty good job kicking alien ass. However, he doesn’t hold a candle to the Angel of Verdun AKA The Full Metal Bitch. I mean, the nicknames alone would earn her a spot on this list. Even with Willaim Cage being the hero of the film, he gets his butt handed to him day after day by Rita. While we don’t get to see her in combat in the film, if she can beat up Cage and Cage can slaughter aliens en mass, it makes sense that she would be considered the superior alien killer. Toss in the fact that she has a pretty nifty mech suit to make her even deadlier and it’s not entirely impossible to imagine that she could fight off an entire alien invasion on her own.
Richard B. Riddick- The Riddick Trilogy
Riddick is probably the most dangerous entry on this list of alien killers. In his cinematic universe, he’s one of the most feared murderers in the existence. His name is literally whispered among the scum of the universe and the few who are dumb enough to go after him usually end up dead. This goes double for aliens, which he’s got a pretty impressive track record with. Riddick first went up against extraterrestrials in Pitch Black when he found himself stranded on a planet overrun by photosensitive killing machines. After that, he took on an empire of necromancers who may or may not have been aliens or just supernatural humans. Finally, he returned to his roots in Riddick and managed to once more be the most dangerous animal on an alien planet. There’s only one person better at killing aliens than Riddick…
Elen Ripley- The Alien Franchise
When it comes to alien killers there’s no arguing that Elen Ripley is one of the best in cinema history. Hell, it could be argued that she is the very best of the best. She first appeared in one of the best alien movies of all time (appropriately titled Alien) where she did battle with a menacing xenomorph. She was so good at kicking alien ass that when a team of Space Marines was headed off to do battle with a horde of xenomorphs they asked her to come along to hold their hands. Not only is Ripley and icon when it comes to badass feminist characters, but when aliens have nightmares they’re about her. That’s why Ripley is not only the reigning champ of alien killers, but she’s their patron saint.
Of course, there are a ton of other alien killers from movies who could possibly deserve a spot on this dream team. Let me know what you think of this list and who you would have liked to have seen on it by leaving a comment below. As always, I’ll be updating the entries as new and improved alien killers come to theaters. So, check back from time to time to see if anyone new manages to earn a spot.