The Top 10 Cursed Objects from Horror Movies
Just Say “No” to Cursed Objects, Kids.
One thing that drives me crazy in horror movies is when characters mess around with what are clearly cursed objects. Those little trinkets and treasures that radiate pure evil and bring doom upon any unfortunate soul who stumbles upon them. Yet, some people just can’t help themselves and just have to tempt fate. I’m not mad about it. After all, a lot of great horror films wouldn’t be possible without idiots toying with cursed objects. So, I decided to honor the sacrifices of those nitwits by counting down the top 10 cursed objects from horror movies. I’m specifically focusing on horror so I won’t be including relics such as the Ark of the Covenant from Raiders of the Lost Ark or the board game from Jumanji. As for the objects on this list. I’m also drawing a line and will only feature objects you might find inside a house (So, no “Goblin Trucks,” laundry presses, or Gravity Drives.) and you’ll only find one of each type (one book, one article of clothing, etc). Finally, I’ve also decided not to include any dolls or puppets on this list since they already have a list of their own. Be sure to keep this list in mind next time you’re browsing a yard sale or surfing around eBay. It might just save your life…
10. The Portrait of Vigo the Carpathian- Ghostbusters II
I’ll admit that The Portrait of Vigo the Carpathian seems like a cursed object that might be a little extravagant to be found in any old house. However, I’ve also learned from horror movies that rich people will often collect all kinds of creepy things in gross displays of wealth. Besides, plenty of people have paintings in their homes to help “liven” things up a bit. The thing about this specific portrait is that it contains the trapped spirit of Vigo Von Homburg Deutschendorf AKA Scourge of Carpathia, AKA Sorrow of Moldavia, AKA Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, Vigo the Unholy… The point is that Vigo wasn’t exactly a good guy to begin with and now that he’s dead, he’s feeding on the same negativity that he created in life. In order to do so, he exhorts his will upon those who are too weak to fight back. Using them as his physical agents, he waits to gather enough energy to manifest a tangible form. This is one painting that you don’t want to hang in your sitting room.
9. The Music Box- Wish Upon
While Vigo’s portrait is one of the more off-putting cursed objects on this list, it’s far from the most deadly. The music box from Wish Upon is actually quite lethal. Many people think there are plenty of treasures to be found dumpster diving or perusing second-hand stores, but there’s a reason for the old cliché, “if something is too good to be true, it usually is”. While rummaging through the trash one day, a man finds a lovely music box that he thinks would make a perfect gift for his teenage daughter. The thing about this music box is that it claims to give its owner seven wishes. Once again, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Most horror fans are probably familiar with the tale of the Monkey’s Paw and know that anything offering something for nothing is probably up to no good. That’s exactly what happens here, and every wish made upon the music box comes with a terrible price. Specifically, a life that holds meaning to the owner. Despite its beauty, this is one music box you don’t want sitting on your vanity.
8. The Klown Suit
Jon Watts has done a hell of a job with the MCU version of Spider-Man, but before that, he introduced audiences to one of the most terrifying cursed objects in movie history. Poor Kent (Andy Powers) just wanted to be a good dad to his kids. So, when he found out that the birthday clown didn’t show this year (probably off doing creepy clown stuff), he counted his blessings when he stumbled upon an old trunk in the attic of a home he was selling which just so happened to have a clown outfit in it. The thing is that this wasn’t a clown outfit, but a Klown outfit. What does that mean? Well, Kent discovers the hard way that a Klown is a malevolent creature from the old country (wherever that is) that feeds on children. It would seem one of the monster’s more sinister qualities is that anyone dumb enough to wear the costumes will slowly turn into a Klown. While clowns are just creepy, Klowns are the stuff of nightmares and this costume refuses to let poor Kent wake up from his.
7. The Dybbuk Box- The Possession
It’s safe to say that almost all of the cursed objects on this list are fictional, almost. Dybbuk boxes are real, in so much that they do exist in the real world. Whether they contain malevolent spirits trapped within them is something that I’m perfectly happy never knowing the answer to. In other words, I’m not arrogant enough to go messing around with cursed objects no matter how sure I am that they’re “perfectly safe”. Unfortunately, few people outside of the Jewish faith know about Dybbuk boxes. So, when a little girl happens upon one at a yard sale, her father is happy to let her buy it for her new room. At first, it seems like there’s no way to open the box, but the Dybbuk inside is all too happy to jimmy it open for the right vessel. That’s right, the Dybbuk immediately possesses the girl and unleashes all kinds of horrors. Luckily, it’s nothing that a good exorcist can’t handle. Still, I prefer not to have to call upon exorcists if I can avoid it.
6. 1958 Plymouth Fury- Christine
Hey, garages are technically a part of a house, and a car can fit in a garage. So, I’ve decided to include good old Christine on this list. Stephen King certainly seems to enjoy featuring cursed objects in his stories, and one of the most wicked to ever crawl out of his imagination was the classic car, Christine. Lots of people like to buy old cars and restore them in their spare time, but just because something can be fixed doesn’t mean it should be. In fact, this is one jalopy that should have been crushed down into a cube when the junkyard owner had the chance. Alas, Christine narrowly escaped “death” and once she had a fresh coat of paint and a few dings buffed out, she hit the road and started killing again. Before you start thinking this is simply a haunted car, it’s important to remember that Christine was killing long before her first owner died. Despite how excited people are about self-driving cars, Christine has made me a little reluctant to embrace the new technology.